How are you? Really!!!

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How are you? Really!!

We got in to this habit when we pass by our colleagues and friends. Simple words with no meaning, really. People became so robotic these days to answer. I am good. Thanks. Really? Are we good?

Pause for a second here…

I have been pondering this for a while now. At first when I came to Canada, I saw people were so courteous saying “Good Morning and How are you?” I felt fantastic. That we cared. Over the years living here, I see this as just a custom. I see people asking this and the answer comes very robotic. No connection what so ever. “I am well, thanks. OR I am fine. OR Good”

How are you? Really!!

This is something we should ask ourselves daily. This needs to happen. Many people around us are under mental agony. Still, when we say, How are you? (Reason I used the word “say”. I do not think we are asking people anymore. We are just saying for the sake of it). Many times people ask this and walk away before even the person responds to you. We assume they are going to say they are ok. Why we do it, because this has become so robotic to us. I have seen it and I am guilty of myself doing that to others. Everyone of us is busy. But why?

Reset ourselves. It is very important. Mental health professionals are recommending nowadays to ask ourselves daily How are we doing. Think about it. Are we doing well? Why are we running like a headless chicken every day? Why are we not happy? If we give ten minutes of our time to self reflect, we can re channel our focus.

I am going to focus on this thought from now on. I also will pause and mean it every time I ask someone, “How are you?” With this pandemic situation, we are more isolated than ever. The human touch is missing. All we can do is show the care for others. This may make someone’s day. They may want someone to talk to. Stop by your colleague’s office. Have a chit chat following the social distance protocol. Now with reduction of workforce, there are many who you have worked with are sitting at home. Call them up for a few minutes. Talk to them. Ask them “How are they?”. This may give them some fuel to survive for a week. All I am saying here is “Don’t be selfish. Care about others.”

I am asking all the people who are reading this “How are you? Really!!!” Comment below. I am looking forward to have a conversation with you guys. Share this blog to your friends if you want to ask them, “How are they? Really!!!”

I am also leaving you this video from youtube. It is apt and align with above thoughts. If you really think about it.

Only Shadow Stayed with me ! – A Poem

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Forgot to smile with life

Eyes don’t have tears left

Mind kept throbbing inside

Trying to convey in vain

Death came closer as I feel

Only shadow stayed with me

Kept creeping in to my soul

Even dreams saying bid to me

Wandered alone up and down

In lonely streets of life, I know

Days turned to dark nights

Only shadow stayed with me

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Feet felt cold when I start walking

Rain drops fall to write stories

The footprints imprint I saw

Get washed away in rain as I create

One life not enough to learn mysteries

Only shadow stayed with me

Mind burn in fire leaving pain

Looking up skies move farther

Who will give wings to reach high

Just like arrows pain strike the heart

Hoping to bloom like a flower again

Only shadow stayed with me

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Read and Support my memoir. Struggles as a student in the system of India.

First kiss- A poem

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Moving through the city roads

Where there was no law to abide

We sat together at the back seat

Crowded among the people inside

No space to move a bit in comfort

Yet we enjoyed the ride of tightness

Motors rushed besides us in haste

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

We both didn’t pay attention to anyone

Looked around to see anyone looking

We stole a kiss for the first time

Lips touched for the first time

Felt like a soft petal on mine

Wanting more we both longed

Couldn’t snatch another one

Photo by Avonne Stalling on Pexels.com

Shyness creeped on her eyes

We longed for another day to come

We looked away for a bit

Trying to divert our thoughts

Yet the softness touched my heart

First kiss you never forget

Best moment in my life

Can we Call that as love ? A Poem

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Four letters we name it with passion

People try to have it all the time

Agony and misery trying to achieve

Can we call that as love?

Touch we feel the warmth of love

Smell we feel the fragrance of love

Closer we feel the need for love

Farther we feel the pain for love

Can we call that as love?

We know we need to survive with love

Yet, we don’t preserve while we have love

Take it for granted we lose for ever

Abruptly we find love in the universe

Can we call that as lover?

We lose again for many reasons we create

Nature shows humanity a lesson daily

We call ourselves the most civilized

Yet we behave like animals with no reason

Can we call that as love?

Compassion for others stays in our words

Day and night talk about love in vein

Yet we show only anger and resentment

Possessiveness takes over our clouded minds

Can we call that as love?

Clear the clouds with love for others

Create the society we want for our kids

Tomorrow a better day to dream with love

Stay with me for the better days to come

Can we call that as love?

Embrace the new beginning we strive

Love is the only answer to begin life.

The power of love we need to believe

Change the universe with the invisible power

Can we call that as love?

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Toddler thoughts- A poem

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Cannot sit idle at one place

Got games a million around me

Got movies a ton I can watch

Got cartoons a lot I can access

Cannot sit idle at one place

I am bored because, “I am”

Monkey brain dancing all the time

Want to do something fun and crazy

Don’t know what to do these days

Too many options around me to choose

Cannot sit idle at one place

I am bored because “I am”

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com

Too much energy in me these days

Nothing seems interesting to me

Getting in to trouble always now

Don’t know why I am the only one

Cannot sit idle at one place

I am bored because “I am”

Every minute monkey brain dance in me

I get warnings to stop my dance

I used to get giggles on similar occasions before

Now it got turned around, don’t know why

Why I cannot sit idle at one place

People realize “I am a toddler”

I am bored because “I am”

I don’t understand COVID

I don’t understand PANDEMIC

I don’t understand SOCIAL DISTANCING

Cannot sit idle at one place

I am bored because “I am”

Please check out our first children’s book CUTIE FOX WENT TO TOWN. Toddlers love this book. This is co written by my two lovely boys. They are proud to be a part of this adventure. Thank you.

https://www.archwaypublishing.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-001253708

Uncharted times- A (+VE) Lesson to Learn.

Every body in the world now say a word constantly – Social Distancing. For a lot of people, it is very difficult. But if you think about it, in this day and age most of us are already distant. We may be friends on line. We may talk over messenger. But we are so busy with our careers and our own world. We did not pay attention to it. We felt that we are socializing a lot when we are at work. We neglect our own family members and our priorities are bigger and better. We never had time for any thing. We are constantly busy.

Now, many countries are lock down and we are on self isolation ourselves etc. Time to think guys, Are we doing right here before this social distancing became reality check here? Now lot of us are still putting the work out there from home, still on track with our responsibilities at work. But we started to see people around you, Family. Those who matter most.

I see social postings now with family more than with friends. I see father cooking food for their family and posting those pictures. I see many playing card games with their family and posting them. This should be the case everyday my friends. We should be doing this every day. Not because of this social distancing and quarantine we have time. We always had time, But we neglected them. We will browse hours and hours on social media, Yet, we will push away our kids saying, “We are busy”

Guys, take this as a positive turn for everyone. We now have time. We spend time with our family more now, Yet again our career and priorities stays the same. This difficult times we pass through now, may be some supreme power above us is showing to us, how to live. Pay attention to our loved ones. Everything else can wait and realize that everything will wait for us. That is the truth. There is no rush to conquer or capture here. LOVE that is the what we need.

I heard lot of us are re adjusting ourselves how to behave around family. This unexpected stay at home situation is a test for them. Everyone out there says, we work for our family. But they don’t spent quality time with them. Why? This is sad. They toil themselves, and at the end of the day, their own children don’t know their parents well enough. I have worked in long term care facilities. I have see many parents there crying. They all have one thing to say “My kids don’t come and visit me”. This is true and sad fact. I have asked them, “What they did for living?” Most of them will say a lot about their career and how hard they worked. Reality check here everyone “How much time they spend with their kids?” They did not and that is where we are doing mistakes. The bond and the attachment is not there.

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After this self isolation and social distancing is over, practice and spend time with your family. This won’t hurt. My prayers are always there for the COVID 19 patients and healthcare workers. We will come out of this soon. Stay safe every one. Love your family. We can create a loving society and I think we should.

Superstitions

I grow up hearing and practicing a lot of superstitions. I have to say I believe in them. Reason is simple, it is engraved in our breath. We followed it religiously. Our parents and grandparents made sure we practiced them. Nowadays many years living outside country, I find these superstitions we believed back then lost its importance. I started to think why our generations from the past practiced them. There are many reasons as to why already out there. But I want to reason myself why this has started at least my interpretation. I could be wrong.

I have seen one of my neighbor who owns a shop always waited by his gate in the morning. He will not walk until unless he see a bike coming from his right side. He also makes sure it is not a milk bike. He believes that if bike passes by his right side when he walks towards his shop, that day he will get great sales. This happened every day until he passed away. This is actually a superstition. Even my grand parents practiced this. They will never walk out of their house if they see a milk selling bike coming. No one had good explanation as to why? I thought about it a lot. I have no convincing reason either. I have walked out when a milk bike came, nothing happened that day. I was just nervous a little, reason being, I was told many times it is not good. Readers, if you know any valid reason, please input your comments below.

If a crow sits on your front fence and cry, then people believed there will be visitors that day. I have seen people prepping extra food on that day as they are convinced there will be un announced visitors. To tell you the truth, I have myself experienced many times this comes true. Now living in a country there is hardly any fence, I really couldn’t try this out here. This one I do have some explanation. My reasoning to this is simple, Usually people says this during the month of wedding season. I have noticed this all the time, people do not say or anticipate visitors, when crow usually cries by sitting on their entrance fence, but they will comment only during wedding season. It is a common practice in India to invite all the relatives, if someone getting married. There are certain months good for getting married as well. People usually expect at least 3 to 4 weddings during that time. So crow crying and visitors coming does not really have any connection. But it did, during my childhood. Any other explanations please do comment and share.

Asking for a prostitute to come from the opposite direction of your path, if you are going for an important matter, such as a land deal or court case. I have seen this happening during my younger days as well. Not sure why they did. But it was a common belief that if they pass a prostitute everything will fall on their favor. This superstition, I have many problems with. Usually the very same people will not let prostitute to come and attend any functions in their house. They consider that as bad. But when they want to go somewhere, then the presence of them will become good. Does this make any sense. Till this day, I couldn’t come up with any reasoning. Readers, if you know why, please do comment and share your thoughts.

Dropping mustard seeds will bring in poverty to your home. I am not sure how many household have done that and nothing happened to them. I can understand, mustard seeds are very small and if this gets dropped. It is hard to collect them. If you do also, dust will be there as well. So my assumption is that, if in any case, mustard bottle fell down, It is almost impossible to get everything back and on top of that cleaning is difficult. So most of the household must have thrown them away. Most likely the older people decides to add some scare to it. And people became more cautious when they handled mustard seeds. At least this superstition of bringing poverty did it. Again this is my own assumption. I could be wrong.

If anyone bring food to your home in a container, then it is a must you return that container with some food in it. People say, if you give container back empty it is not good for family. Not sure why? We practiced this and saw my parents even doing this. Also some family even put a piece of chilly, when they returned the container, if they did not give food. This prevents bad eye falling on them. Again, this particular superstition, I find it hard to come up with any sort of reasoning.

Wake up in the morning to your right side, not on your left side. I still practice this. But I have never instilled this to my kids. I am not sure their days are bad, when they wake up in the morning and roll to their left side to get up. I got that habit because the society I was brought up had all these superstitions and they religiously follow them. I cannot think of a day, when I got up by rolling towards to my left side. You may wonder, why don’t I? No idea. Do I think, my day will be bad if i do? Yes, I do think that way!!! Well, it is hard for me to change.

Droplets- Memoir by Ajay Nair. Available thru Amazon, Barnes and Noble

Superstitions usually sticks with you because of the culture you are brought up in. Regardless how much you got educated and how much you tend to analyze how this all started. I will say, if you are born and you practiced during your childhood, that fear in you will stay. The day you did not practice and some thing bad happened to you, it is very easy to relate to the superstition.

I would love to hear from you readers, if you have a different take on this. Please do comment and share your thoughts. If you like my writing, please support my memoir DROPLETS.

Please support my first humble effort.

Suicide- Students in India

I am so lucky….. You know why?

I could be one of the stats from India. Daily one student suicide because of the pressure they go through. Can you believe it?

It is true. I have been in this situation. Hey, I can say this much. I never thought of taking my life. I did want to run away from home. Many times. Today after many years, when I look back. I think I had some one looking up for me. Some people call it as God or some supreme power. I still don’t know what it is. I am lucky…

Why? This much pressure. Society is so blind in India. Never changed, this many years and still the same. I thought, situations have changed. But NO guys. I am furious. Recently I read in the news paper, that parents paid some person to arrange strangers to write their kids entrance test to get admissions to Medical courses. Now what happened, they got caught. Now kids got debarred from colleges. The parents are in Jail. Again- Why? What did they got out of this? Kids lost their education. They lost their parents. Now for their entire life, they will be horrible.

I am sick and tired of this. Prime Minister Narendra Modi Ji is doing a lot for the country. But it is high time for him to take a look at this situation. Students are our future. He should reform education system. He should find ways to educate society, that other careers are needed for a well balanced community.

Why, they are forcing kids to do only certain courses? Why the parents are forcing the kids to do the courses they don’t like? Also, why this much pressure put on kids when they are at colleges? Why they have to perform so much? Why they cannot just be kids?

All these talent, these parents create by forcing kids to develop. Kids do it just to make their parents happy. Then they leave country. So what does this society of India really get out of this? I am confused here. Every time I think about it. I am sick on my stomach.

We are ruining our future. Our kids will never live in peace and they lose their childhood. My generation, most of my friends went through this pressure. I thought when we grow up, atleast our kids will not go through this kind of pressure. I thought we will let our kids be kids. Trust me, I am doing my best to give my kids the best childhood they can get. I am living with them. I am getting my childhood back with them. I am re living my dreams, what I used to dream about when I was a kid.

Shame on you all guys, I am calling out all my friends back home. I know many of my friends still running after education institutions paying big donations, securing a seat for their kids, SO the kids get tortured in the system. India has not changed. STOP IT.

Still kids suicide every day because of the pressure we put on them to perform. We don’t give them choice and make them believe, if they don’t become doctors or engineers, they will not make it in their lives. Shame on me as well, I am not able to change the society I came from. I am doing what I can by writing this. Please stop. Let kids live, Let them chose their paths. Let them achieve their dreams. Let them pave their own fate. Guide them. But don’t force them to give you happiness.

I wrote my book, DROPLETS thinking one day the words in my book will open some people eyes. Who knows? My parents realized now, what I am saying. They are not forcing their grand kids. They love them who they are. So, guys, you all can change. We will save kids.

DROPLETS- NET GALLEY REVIEW

My book Droplets is now in the market for just four days. I am glad to see reviews started to come in. I just want to include the one from NetGalley below.

https://www.netgalley.com/catalog/book/170923

Please visit NetGalley and request copies for reviewing.

Featured Reviews
Cristie U, Reviewer
This memoir captured the emotions that author felt when moving to a new country perfectly. He had to contend with strict parents, little money, and other issues and captured those moments brilliantly in this fish out of water memoir. The honest writing makes it easy to empathize with him.

I am excited at the same time speechless to get a 5 star review from Cristie.

Inviting everyone to join the DROPLETS task force.

Dear friends,

I want to invite you to join DROPLETS book launch task force! A book’s success depends a lot on word of mouth and grassroots marketing, so the purpose of this force is simple. LET’s be real here. I am not a well known writer or famous. I am asking everyone to help me get the word out about the book before – and immediately after – the August 8 launch. There are four key areas where I think you all could take action which will really help me to launch my 2 years of labor. Scroll down to check out ideas and actions you can take to get involved and help me. You can do as much as you want, but even one action will make a big difference. Highly appreciated.

If you’re interested in joining the task force, please follow my blog and connect to me with your full name and address so I can provide you with a complimentary e book. Please do that via contact page on this blog site.

Network
– Do you know any radio or podcast hosts that might be interested in interviewing me about DROPLETS? Please connect them to me or suggest my book for discussion.
– Do you belong to a club or organization that would be interested in a guest speaker? I’d love to speak to them if they are close to Vancouver. OR I could do video call with them.

-If you see my book in any stores after August 8 please share that picture to me or post it in Instagram, tag authorajaynair when you do that.

-Do you know any local magazines, where they are looking for new book feature. Please suggest me. I can send them my book release information.

Word of Mouth
– Suggest DROPLETS to your libraries and independent bookstores near you (click here to find outlets near you)
– Pitch DROPLETS at your next book club meeting
– Suggest the book to your friends and acquaintances.

Social media ( Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn,Facebook, Reddit and Youtube)
– Link to your reviews on Amazon, GoodReads, etc.
– Post about the book and your impressions
– Comment, share, and repost updates about DROPLETS on your social media accounts.
– Use #DROPLETS, #authorajaynair #memoirs in your posts 

Book Reviews (Note: the earliest a review can be posted on any site is August 8) – PLEASE KEEP THAT DATE IN MIND.
– Rate and review Droplets on AmazonGoodReadsBarnes and Noble, Booksamillion and other platforms
– Write reviews on August 8 – 22 (if you review in early August, be sure to mention you received an advanced copy so they know you’re legit!)
Thank you! I appreciate you all so much. Ajay Nair.