Only Shadow Stayed with me ! – A Poem

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Forgot to smile with life

Eyes don’t have tears left

Mind kept throbbing inside

Trying to convey in vain

Death came closer as I feel

Only shadow stayed with me

Kept creeping in to my soul

Even dreams saying bid to me

Wandered alone up and down

In lonely streets of life, I know

Days turned to dark nights

Only shadow stayed with me

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Feet felt cold when I start walking

Rain drops fall to write stories

The footprints imprint I saw

Get washed away in rain as I create

One life not enough to learn mysteries

Only shadow stayed with me

Mind burn in fire leaving pain

Looking up skies move farther

Who will give wings to reach high

Just like arrows pain strike the heart

Hoping to bloom like a flower again

Only shadow stayed with me

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Read and Support my memoir. Struggles as a student in the system of India.

Flip my Skin- A Poem

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Flip my skin if you can I plead

Tired of being in this world of difference

People look at me like a worm in the dirt

Don’t know why I get this look all day

Scream loud I cannot breathe

Yet deaf ears all around me

Flip my skin if you can I wonder

Suit your needs to please your eyes

We breathe and sweat the same way

Don’t know why this difference you notice

Scream loud I cannot tolerate no more

Yet deaf ears all around me

Flip my skin if you can I yearn

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Daily grind takes toll on me

Scared of life being tortured around

Treated like dirt you wash everyday

My heart pains for my society to include

I love them just like I love me and mine

Scream loud I am like you to realize

Yet deaf ears all around me as always

Flip my skin if you can I wish

Day will come you realize that now

We built this world together to enjoy

Entertained you at our best to forget your sorrows

Gave life and sweat for your wellbeing

Scream loud for your happiness

Ears will open hear us loud and clear

Flip my skin and you see me same as you

Scream loud I cannot breathe and you suffocate with me

You will hear my pain as I feel

The day of our future will be bright as black.

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Support and read my books Droplets- Struggles and survival of a student.

time to change… A Poem

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Through the window panes everyday

I see the world in front of me smiling

What changed, I wonder everyday

Blue skies and white clouds still there

Trees and flowers still there swaying

Why this sadness I wonder everyday

World is as beautiful as it was then and now

There is change I feel inside everyday

How we think maybe the reason

Time to change fellows…

Time to change…

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We are divided in many ways these days

Color, Race, food all differs with us

Cut open we are same flesh and blood we know

Just like our world around us without changes

Same blue sky and white clouds

Yet, we differ and change happened unknowingly

Peace every one talk about achieving

Still it is a far away achievement for humanity

Harmony and Peace we crave every day

Time to change fellows…

Time to change….

Children’s book written by myself and my lovely boys.

Superstitions

I grow up hearing and practicing a lot of superstitions. I have to say I believe in them. Reason is simple, it is engraved in our breath. We followed it religiously. Our parents and grandparents made sure we practiced them. Nowadays many years living outside country, I find these superstitions we believed back then lost its importance. I started to think why our generations from the past practiced them. There are many reasons as to why already out there. But I want to reason myself why this has started at least my interpretation. I could be wrong.

I have seen one of my neighbor who owns a shop always waited by his gate in the morning. He will not walk until unless he see a bike coming from his right side. He also makes sure it is not a milk bike. He believes that if bike passes by his right side when he walks towards his shop, that day he will get great sales. This happened every day until he passed away. This is actually a superstition. Even my grand parents practiced this. They will never walk out of their house if they see a milk selling bike coming. No one had good explanation as to why? I thought about it a lot. I have no convincing reason either. I have walked out when a milk bike came, nothing happened that day. I was just nervous a little, reason being, I was told many times it is not good. Readers, if you know any valid reason, please input your comments below.

If a crow sits on your front fence and cry, then people believed there will be visitors that day. I have seen people prepping extra food on that day as they are convinced there will be un announced visitors. To tell you the truth, I have myself experienced many times this comes true. Now living in a country there is hardly any fence, I really couldn’t try this out here. This one I do have some explanation. My reasoning to this is simple, Usually people says this during the month of wedding season. I have noticed this all the time, people do not say or anticipate visitors, when crow usually cries by sitting on their entrance fence, but they will comment only during wedding season. It is a common practice in India to invite all the relatives, if someone getting married. There are certain months good for getting married as well. People usually expect at least 3 to 4 weddings during that time. So crow crying and visitors coming does not really have any connection. But it did, during my childhood. Any other explanations please do comment and share.

Asking for a prostitute to come from the opposite direction of your path, if you are going for an important matter, such as a land deal or court case. I have seen this happening during my younger days as well. Not sure why they did. But it was a common belief that if they pass a prostitute everything will fall on their favor. This superstition, I have many problems with. Usually the very same people will not let prostitute to come and attend any functions in their house. They consider that as bad. But when they want to go somewhere, then the presence of them will become good. Does this make any sense. Till this day, I couldn’t come up with any reasoning. Readers, if you know why, please do comment and share your thoughts.

Dropping mustard seeds will bring in poverty to your home. I am not sure how many household have done that and nothing happened to them. I can understand, mustard seeds are very small and if this gets dropped. It is hard to collect them. If you do also, dust will be there as well. So my assumption is that, if in any case, mustard bottle fell down, It is almost impossible to get everything back and on top of that cleaning is difficult. So most of the household must have thrown them away. Most likely the older people decides to add some scare to it. And people became more cautious when they handled mustard seeds. At least this superstition of bringing poverty did it. Again this is my own assumption. I could be wrong.

If anyone bring food to your home in a container, then it is a must you return that container with some food in it. People say, if you give container back empty it is not good for family. Not sure why? We practiced this and saw my parents even doing this. Also some family even put a piece of chilly, when they returned the container, if they did not give food. This prevents bad eye falling on them. Again, this particular superstition, I find it hard to come up with any sort of reasoning.

Wake up in the morning to your right side, not on your left side. I still practice this. But I have never instilled this to my kids. I am not sure their days are bad, when they wake up in the morning and roll to their left side to get up. I got that habit because the society I was brought up had all these superstitions and they religiously follow them. I cannot think of a day, when I got up by rolling towards to my left side. You may wonder, why don’t I? No idea. Do I think, my day will be bad if i do? Yes, I do think that way!!! Well, it is hard for me to change.

Droplets- Memoir by Ajay Nair. Available thru Amazon, Barnes and Noble

Superstitions usually sticks with you because of the culture you are brought up in. Regardless how much you got educated and how much you tend to analyze how this all started. I will say, if you are born and you practiced during your childhood, that fear in you will stay. The day you did not practice and some thing bad happened to you, it is very easy to relate to the superstition.

I would love to hear from you readers, if you have a different take on this. Please do comment and share your thoughts. If you like my writing, please support my memoir DROPLETS.

Please support my first humble effort.

Suicide- Students in India

I am so lucky….. You know why?

I could be one of the stats from India. Daily one student suicide because of the pressure they go through. Can you believe it?

It is true. I have been in this situation. Hey, I can say this much. I never thought of taking my life. I did want to run away from home. Many times. Today after many years, when I look back. I think I had some one looking up for me. Some people call it as God or some supreme power. I still don’t know what it is. I am lucky…

Why? This much pressure. Society is so blind in India. Never changed, this many years and still the same. I thought, situations have changed. But NO guys. I am furious. Recently I read in the news paper, that parents paid some person to arrange strangers to write their kids entrance test to get admissions to Medical courses. Now what happened, they got caught. Now kids got debarred from colleges. The parents are in Jail. Again- Why? What did they got out of this? Kids lost their education. They lost their parents. Now for their entire life, they will be horrible.

I am sick and tired of this. Prime Minister Narendra Modi Ji is doing a lot for the country. But it is high time for him to take a look at this situation. Students are our future. He should reform education system. He should find ways to educate society, that other careers are needed for a well balanced community.

Why, they are forcing kids to do only certain courses? Why the parents are forcing the kids to do the courses they don’t like? Also, why this much pressure put on kids when they are at colleges? Why they have to perform so much? Why they cannot just be kids?

All these talent, these parents create by forcing kids to develop. Kids do it just to make their parents happy. Then they leave country. So what does this society of India really get out of this? I am confused here. Every time I think about it. I am sick on my stomach.

We are ruining our future. Our kids will never live in peace and they lose their childhood. My generation, most of my friends went through this pressure. I thought when we grow up, atleast our kids will not go through this kind of pressure. I thought we will let our kids be kids. Trust me, I am doing my best to give my kids the best childhood they can get. I am living with them. I am getting my childhood back with them. I am re living my dreams, what I used to dream about when I was a kid.

Shame on you all guys, I am calling out all my friends back home. I know many of my friends still running after education institutions paying big donations, securing a seat for their kids, SO the kids get tortured in the system. India has not changed. STOP IT.

Still kids suicide every day because of the pressure we put on them to perform. We don’t give them choice and make them believe, if they don’t become doctors or engineers, they will not make it in their lives. Shame on me as well, I am not able to change the society I came from. I am doing what I can by writing this. Please stop. Let kids live, Let them chose their paths. Let them achieve their dreams. Let them pave their own fate. Guide them. But don’t force them to give you happiness.

I wrote my book, DROPLETS thinking one day the words in my book will open some people eyes. Who knows? My parents realized now, what I am saying. They are not forcing their grand kids. They love them who they are. So, guys, you all can change. We will save kids.

DROPLETS- NET GALLEY REVIEW

My book Droplets is now in the market for just four days. I am glad to see reviews started to come in. I just want to include the one from NetGalley below.

https://www.netgalley.com/catalog/book/170923

Please visit NetGalley and request copies for reviewing.

Featured Reviews
Cristie U, Reviewer
This memoir captured the emotions that author felt when moving to a new country perfectly. He had to contend with strict parents, little money, and other issues and captured those moments brilliantly in this fish out of water memoir. The honest writing makes it easy to empathize with him.

I am excited at the same time speechless to get a 5 star review from Cristie.

Inviting everyone to join the DROPLETS task force.

Dear friends,

I want to invite you to join DROPLETS book launch task force! A book’s success depends a lot on word of mouth and grassroots marketing, so the purpose of this force is simple. LET’s be real here. I am not a well known writer or famous. I am asking everyone to help me get the word out about the book before – and immediately after – the August 8 launch. There are four key areas where I think you all could take action which will really help me to launch my 2 years of labor. Scroll down to check out ideas and actions you can take to get involved and help me. You can do as much as you want, but even one action will make a big difference. Highly appreciated.

If you’re interested in joining the task force, please follow my blog and connect to me with your full name and address so I can provide you with a complimentary e book. Please do that via contact page on this blog site.

Network
– Do you know any radio or podcast hosts that might be interested in interviewing me about DROPLETS? Please connect them to me or suggest my book for discussion.
– Do you belong to a club or organization that would be interested in a guest speaker? I’d love to speak to them if they are close to Vancouver. OR I could do video call with them.

-If you see my book in any stores after August 8 please share that picture to me or post it in Instagram, tag authorajaynair when you do that.

-Do you know any local magazines, where they are looking for new book feature. Please suggest me. I can send them my book release information.

Word of Mouth
– Suggest DROPLETS to your libraries and independent bookstores near you (click here to find outlets near you)
– Pitch DROPLETS at your next book club meeting
– Suggest the book to your friends and acquaintances.

Social media ( Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn,Facebook, Reddit and Youtube)
– Link to your reviews on Amazon, GoodReads, etc.
– Post about the book and your impressions
– Comment, share, and repost updates about DROPLETS on your social media accounts.
– Use #DROPLETS, #authorajaynair #memoirs in your posts 

Book Reviews (Note: the earliest a review can be posted on any site is August 8) – PLEASE KEEP THAT DATE IN MIND.
– Rate and review Droplets on AmazonGoodReadsBarnes and Noble, Booksamillion and other platforms
– Write reviews on August 8 – 22 (if you review in early August, be sure to mention you received an advanced copy so they know you’re legit!)
Thank you! I appreciate you all so much. Ajay Nair.