Just like we celebrate Canada Day here. My small land where I come from has a day called Kerala Day #KeralaPiravi. Means birth of Kerala. The small state which differs from any other states in India. The most beautiful land with lots of greenery and backwaters. We call our land “Gods Own Country”
November 1,.1956, way after India’s Independence in 1947, Kerala became an independent state in the Republic of India. That day onwards we celebrated this day as Kerala Day or in Malayalam keralapiravi. Prior to this, Kerala was divided in to three provinces. Malabar, Cochin and Travancore. If today it stayed like that, I belong to Travancore Province.
The interesting fact we all should know- after independence there was an uproar among the people to carve out new states as per the language they speak. If you travel now in India, you can easily see all the states they have their own mother tongue or we call dialect. In Kerala we speak Malayalam.
They give the name Kerala to the state because of its abundance of coconut trees. The word “Kera” means coconut and “Alam” means land. In local dialect the state is know as Keralam. According to Hindu mythology, Lord Parasurama (the sixth incarnation of Lord Mahavishnu) threw his axe from Kanyakumari. He asked the water to move away to form the land. Hence the name “Gods Own Country” If we travel all across India, you can notice the difference as soon as you cross the border to Kerala. Devine for sure. Land, Greenery backwaters, food, Kerala stands different. May be because the land is formed by the God. Who know? Or in other words, I am little biased, because I am born there. Always we feel special towards our mother land. Don’t we?
This month, I am dedicating my blogs to introduce some facts about my home town in general. Some festivals we celebrate, Some superstitions etc. Stay tuned for the coming weeks.
We got in to this habit when we pass by our colleagues and friends. Simple words with no meaning, really. People became so robotic these days to answer. I am good. Thanks. Really? Are we good?
Pause for a second here…
I have been pondering this for a while now. At first when I came to Canada, I saw people were so courteous saying “Good Morning and How are you?” I felt fantastic. That we cared. Over the years living here, I see this as just a custom. I see people asking this and the answer comes very robotic. No connection what so ever. “I am well, thanks. OR I am fine. OR Good”
How are you? Really!!
This is something we should ask ourselves daily. This needs to happen. Many people around us are under mental agony. Still, when we say, How are you? (Reason I used the word “say”. I do not think we are asking people anymore. We are just saying for the sake of it). Many times people ask this and walk away before even the person responds to you. We assume they are going to say they are ok. Why we do it, because this has become so robotic to us. I have seen it and I am guilty of myself doing that to others. Everyone of us is busy. But why?
Reset ourselves. It is very important. Mental health professionals are recommending nowadays to ask ourselves daily How are we doing. Think about it. Are we doing well? Why are we running like a headless chicken every day? Why are we not happy? If we give ten minutes of our time to self reflect, we can re channel our focus.
I am going to focus on this thought from now on. I also will pause and mean it every time I ask someone, “How are you?” With this pandemic situation, we are more isolated than ever. The human touch is missing. All we can do is show the care for others. This may make someone’s day. They may want someone to talk to. Stop by your colleague’s office. Have a chit chat following the social distance protocol. Now with reduction of workforce, there are many who you have worked with are sitting at home. Call them up for a few minutes. Talk to them. Ask them “How are they?”. This may give them some fuel to survive for a week. All I am saying here is “Don’t be selfish. Care about others.”
I am asking all the people who are reading this “How are you? Really!!!” Comment below. I am looking forward to have a conversation with you guys. Share this blog to your friends if you want to ask them, “How are they? Really!!!”
I am also leaving you this video from youtube. It is apt and align with above thoughts. If you really think about it.
I heard from someone today. There are two types of people. One who works and other one takes credit. Who you want to be?
For me, I want to be the person who work. You know why? There is less competition with this group. You are like minded. The other group always wants to takes credit from other people who work or bring ideas. They will compete each other to claim the work or Ideas others bring to table. Let me tell you one thing, here, I am also kind of doing what the group I don’t want to be in. The line I heard above is not mine. But the lesson I learned from the question is big. So I would like to put some work here to make this easy to relate to. I will not claim any credit for the question in discussion here.
As a leader, It is very easy to sit back and take the credit of the team themselves. Lot of people tend to do this unknowingly.A true leader will work hard and walk with the team. Credit will be given to the team as well.
Same thing applies, Some leaders support their subordinates with all their power as long as they are working together. The day they move to a different part of the company,the leader will not even talk to them. This gives the employee a big doubt in their mind “Did my boss used me to move up the ladder?” That is not a good motivation spark for the employee. There are many times leader may have to re enter the same department due to organizational changes. Then that dynamic between the employee and the leader will be struggling for sure.
Leaders are not born, they are born through hard work. Motivating others and guiding others to succeed with out fear is what makes the unique strong leader. They will have followers. They will last long. Showing that soft side of vulnerability will take you to higher stands in the mind of employees. So who are you? One who works or one who takes credit? Food for thought here.
The heading is not mine. I took that out from Sushant Singh Rajput’s words. The myth we as youngsters believed. I also fell for it for a long period of time during my college days. Our society we grow up in India for many reasons believe this. I don’t blame them. Those who grow up in poverty, they only see the glamour of rich people. For them the life they see outside is always happiness. How they attain is what they don’t have- Money.
Parents who suffered during their childhood always thought, money is earned by becoming a doctor or an engineer. For them it is the truth. Those who were doing other jobs are not meeting their basic needs. Plumbers, electricians, Rickshaw drivers all struggled to provide food for their family daily. Can we really blame them? No. But what we can do now is to change the society to think differently. Past what our parents went through, for them it is right. They did what they did. Now it is our turn to change and adapt to save our kids.
The new generation like us, we need to be the force of change. Yet, I see people like Sushant struggled. We need to learn from his struggles and be the part to educate our society to think differently. When we run around to push our kids to see only through our eyes, we are making mistakes. We should let them see the world from their eyes. Give them the freedom of thinking. Let them do what they are best at. Don’t push them to do what they don’t believe in. Let them fail, so they will stand up and walk forward. Let them make mistakes, so they can correct themselves. Don’t falter them when they don’t excel in something, Guide them.
The kids who are forced to groom by others dreams always crumble when life takes a turn. They never acted themselves. They always moved according to an authoritative figures instructions. Could be a parent, or a teacher. They live in this bubble of insecurities. Once it is gone, they take shelter in suicide. Sad, but truth.
Only solution I see here is to deviate our traditional thoughts on success. No job out there has more status than any others. All job is needed for the society and respect the person. Do not give more respect to a doctor or engineer compared to a cleaner. They all are needed for the well being of human race. Money should be never a factor for happiness. Pay the people who did the job. Do not DE-value the work they did. Doctors don’t need extra pay other than their salary. Stop giving them extra fees and make that gap of poverty even more higher. Stop paying bribes to certain officers. Think differently. You be the movement. Save our future.
Sushant Singh Rajput- You be the movement. RIP brother.
Human mind- no one know where is it or what is it? Yet, We all speak about our minds. When we think, we can feel in our brains a machine is running. Is that our mind? When we think sometimes our heart feels heavy. Is that our mind? When we love, we feel energy flowing between ourselves. Is that our mind? Who really knows. No one. May be we could refer mind to GOD.
Can I our minds hackable? A wierd thought came to my mind today when I was listening to a radio show. It was fascinating to me, what he said about an experiment someone did somewhere. Sorry, I am getting old, I cannot remember what that experiment is named. Disclosure statement, this idea is not mine. I will not take credit for this. However I thought, it is a nice angle to hear it out.
A lady walked in to a room for a scheduled meeting. All the people there except her are actors. She sat down waiting for her turn to go in to the meeting room. Few minutes later a beep sound heard from the intercom. All the attendees there got up stand for a moment and sat down except the lady. Few minutes passed by, another beep. The people stood up and sat after a moment. Lady seems confused, but no one talked. The third time the beeped, She also stood up with them and sat down after a moment. The meeting started, one by one they got called. The beeping also occurred regularly all stoop up including the lady. They never talked to each other. Then the moment came she was alone there. She continued to do the ritual. Then a few other people joined her in the waiting room.
Beep- the sound came and the lady stood up and sat down after a moment. The people just walked in are not actor. They looked at each other and wondered what was happening. But no one really asked or questioned lady. Second beep came. She did the same. This time a few people joined. You could see some talking to each other wondering, but no one stopped any one. By the forth time beep came, they all stood up. The experiment concludes there. Yes, human minds can be hackable.
Now, my take on it. I thought about it for a while. In fact my morning drive, I found this very interesting and I could see many things happened in our lives like this. Our minds adapt very easily. For example, when we go to temple, we see some one else doing a ritual and we follow that assuming that is right way to do it. When we go for a meeting, we dress up like everyone else do, assuming that is the way it supposed to be.
Our kids, they do a lot of their chores just like their parents do. Why is that, their minds are hacked by our ways. We eat food the way our parents and grand parents did. We follow our bosses on a lot of ways at work. When ten people start to say this movie is good, we also follow the suit. We tend to say, the movie is good even though you did not enjoy it. We are told, do this, your book will get noticed. We follow that assuming it will help. Majority of our minds are hacked already by the society.
Let me tell you one thing, those who can try to keep moving forwards with their own unique thinking will mark their prompts on a higher note. Keep our minds focused and lets try not to get hacked. Friends think unique and achieve greater results. There is no right or wrong here. Be a good citizen, obey the law and order. Love others and keep the mind free.
Thank you for reading. If this makes sense to you, please share and comment below.
I grow up hearing and practicing a lot of superstitions. I have to say I believe in them. Reason is simple, it is engraved in our breath. We followed it religiously. Our parents and grandparents made sure we practiced them. Nowadays many years living outside country, I find these superstitions we believed back then lost its importance. I started to think why our generations from the past practiced them. There are many reasons as to why already out there. But I want to reason myself why this has started at least my interpretation. I could be wrong.
I have seen one of my neighbor who owns a shop always waited by his gate in the morning. He will not walk until unless he see a bike coming from his right side. He also makes sure it is not a milk bike. He believes that if bike passes by his right side when he walks towards his shop, that day he will get great sales. This happened every day until he passed away. This is actually a superstition. Even my grand parents practiced this. They will never walk out of their house if they see a milk selling bike coming. No one had good explanation as to why? I thought about it a lot. I have no convincing reason either. I have walked out when a milk bike came, nothing happened that day. I was just nervous a little, reason being, I was told many times it is not good. Readers, if you know any valid reason, please input your comments below.
If a crow sits on your front fence and cry, then people believed there will be visitors that day. I have seen people prepping extra food on that day as they are convinced there will be un announced visitors. To tell you the truth, I have myself experienced many times this comes true. Now living in a country there is hardly any fence, I really couldn’t try this out here. This one I do have some explanation. My reasoning to this is simple, Usually people says this during the month of wedding season. I have noticed this all the time, people do not say or anticipate visitors, when crow usually cries by sitting on their entrance fence, but they will comment only during wedding season. It is a common practice in India to invite all the relatives, if someone getting married. There are certain months good for getting married as well. People usually expect at least 3 to 4 weddings during that time. So crow crying and visitors coming does not really have any connection. But it did, during my childhood. Any other explanations please do comment and share.
Asking for a prostitute to come from the opposite direction of your path, if you are going for an important matter, such as a land deal or court case. I have seen this happening during my younger days as well. Not sure why they did. But it was a common belief that if they pass a prostitute everything will fall on their favor. This superstition, I have many problems with. Usually the very same people will not let prostitute to come and attend any functions in their house. They consider that as bad. But when they want to go somewhere, then the presence of them will become good. Does this make any sense. Till this day, I couldn’t come up with any reasoning. Readers, if you know why, please do comment and share your thoughts.
Dropping mustard seeds will bring in poverty to your home. I am not sure how many household have done that and nothing happened to them. I can understand, mustard seeds are very small and if this gets dropped. It is hard to collect them. If you do also, dust will be there as well. So my assumption is that, if in any case, mustard bottle fell down, It is almost impossible to get everything back and on top of that cleaning is difficult. So most of the household must have thrown them away. Most likely the older people decides to add some scare to it. And people became more cautious when they handled mustard seeds. At least this superstition of bringing poverty did it. Again this is my own assumption. I could be wrong.
If anyone bring food to your home in a container, then it is a must you return that container with some food in it. People say, if you give container back empty it is not good for family. Not sure why? We practiced this and saw my parents even doing this. Also some family even put a piece of chilly, when they returned the container, if they did not give food. This prevents bad eye falling on them. Again, this particular superstition, I find it hard to come up with any sort of reasoning.
Wake up in the morning to your right side, not on your left side. I still practice this. But I have never instilled this to my kids. I am not sure their days are bad, when they wake up in the morning and roll to their left side to get up. I got that habit because the society I was brought up had all these superstitions and they religiously follow them. I cannot think of a day, when I got up by rolling towards to my left side. You may wonder, why don’t I? No idea. Do I think, my day will be bad if i do? Yes, I do think that way!!! Well, it is hard for me to change.
Superstitions usually sticks with you because of the culture you are brought up in. Regardless how much you got educated and how much you tend to analyze how this all started. I will say, if you are born and you practiced during your childhood, that fear in you will stay. The day you did not practice and some thing bad happened to you, it is very easy to relate to the superstition.
I would love to hear from you readers, if you have a different take on this. Please do comment and share your thoughts. If you like my writing, please support my memoir DROPLETS.
I could be one of the stats from India. Daily one student suicide because of the pressure they go through. Can you believe it?
It is true. I have been in this situation. Hey, I can say this much. I never thought of taking my life. I did want to run away from home. Many times. Today after many years, when I look back. I think I had some one looking up for me. Some people call it as God or some supreme power. I still don’t know what it is. I am lucky…
Why? This much pressure. Society is so blind in India. Never changed, this many years and still the same. I thought, situations have changed. But NO guys. I am furious. Recently I read in the news paper, that parents paid some person to arrange strangers to write their kids entrance test to get admissions to Medical courses. Now what happened, they got caught. Now kids got debarred from colleges. The parents are in Jail. Again- Why? What did they got out of this? Kids lost their education. They lost their parents. Now for their entire life, they will be horrible.
I am sick and tired of this. Prime Minister Narendra Modi Ji is doing a lot for the country. But it is high time for him to take a look at this situation. Students are our future. He should reform education system. He should find ways to educate society, that other careers are needed for a well balanced community.
Why, they are forcing kids to do only certain courses? Why the parents are forcing the kids to do the courses they don’t like? Also, why this much pressure put on kids when they are at colleges? Why they have to perform so much? Why they cannot just be kids?
All these talent, these parents create by forcing kids to develop. Kids do it just to make their parents happy. Then they leave country. So what does this society of India really get out of this? I am confused here. Every time I think about it. I am sick on my stomach.
We are ruining our future. Our kids will never live in peace and they lose their childhood. My generation, most of my friends went through this pressure. I thought when we grow up, atleast our kids will not go through this kind of pressure. I thought we will let our kids be kids. Trust me, I am doing my best to give my kids the best childhood they can get. I am living with them. I am getting my childhood back with them. I am re living my dreams, what I used to dream about when I was a kid.
Shame on you all guys, I am calling out all my friends back home. I know many of my friends still running after education institutions paying big donations, securing a seat for their kids, SO the kids get tortured in the system. India has not changed. STOP IT.
Still kids suicide every day because of the pressure we put on them to perform. We don’t give them choice and make them believe, if they don’t become doctors or engineers, they will not make it in their lives. Shame on me as well, I am not able to change the society I came from. I am doing what I can by writing this. Please stop. Let kids live, Let them chose their paths. Let them achieve their dreams. Let them pave their own fate. Guide them. But don’t force them to give you happiness.
I wrote my book, DROPLETS thinking one day the words in my book will open some people eyes. Who knows? My parents realized now, what I am saying. They are not forcing their grand kids. They love them who they are. So, guys, you all can change. We will save kids.