Note from my Son

Father’s day today. We all love our father. Regardless how they are. Many father son relationship are rocky. At the end of the day we do love our father. They have a strange bond, one cannot explain. We need to feel it. Today, myself and my lovely wife clearing my son’s last year school folder. She came across the following note, I would like to share here.

He is thirteen. I know his handwriting is horrendous. LOL. I am very proud that he sees what I never thought I am delivering it to him. The mistakes my parents did and I struggled to adapt may be helping me to be a good father. Here he says, I am important for him because of the life lessons I give. I am not sure what I have conveyed made him to think this way. As a father, I am blessed to see this. He also sees his mother as a person to share his emotions. As a mother, she should be proud of this acknowledgement from her son. I pray we all stay the same as we are now. This dynamic is important and I couldn’t keep this to me. Will be selfish not to share his thoughts here on Father’s day.

As an adult we may not find positive notions. I see my son is teaching me a bigger lesson here. He is saying that his brother makes him laugh at times when he is mad at him. How many times we can practice this as an adult to manage emotions when someone is mad at us?

This is the best Father’s day I have experienced so far. Many reasons. This note we discovered from a pile of his work is a sweet surprise for me. This is not something he wrote for father’s day, he doesn’t even know we got this note today. This note will stay in my heart on a very special place. This could be a project in school where they asked him to write about special people in his life. What touched me the most is why I am important to him. Most of the time, I see kids write their father plays with him, take to movies etc. This is sweet. Really sweet.

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Only Shadow Stayed with me ! – A Poem

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Forgot to smile with life

Eyes don’t have tears left

Mind kept throbbing inside

Trying to convey in vain

Death came closer as I feel

Only shadow stayed with me

Kept creeping in to my soul

Even dreams saying bid to me

Wandered alone up and down

In lonely streets of life, I know

Days turned to dark nights

Only shadow stayed with me

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Feet felt cold when I start walking

Rain drops fall to write stories

The footprints imprint I saw

Get washed away in rain as I create

One life not enough to learn mysteries

Only shadow stayed with me

Mind burn in fire leaving pain

Looking up skies move farther

Who will give wings to reach high

Just like arrows pain strike the heart

Hoping to bloom like a flower again

Only shadow stayed with me

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Flip my Skin- A Poem

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Flip my skin if you can I plead

Tired of being in this world of difference

People look at me like a worm in the dirt

Don’t know why I get this look all day

Scream loud I cannot breathe

Yet deaf ears all around me

Flip my skin if you can I wonder

Suit your needs to please your eyes

We breathe and sweat the same way

Don’t know why this difference you notice

Scream loud I cannot tolerate no more

Yet deaf ears all around me

Flip my skin if you can I yearn

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Daily grind takes toll on me

Scared of life being tortured around

Treated like dirt you wash everyday

My heart pains for my society to include

I love them just like I love me and mine

Scream loud I am like you to realize

Yet deaf ears all around me as always

Flip my skin if you can I wish

Day will come you realize that now

We built this world together to enjoy

Entertained you at our best to forget your sorrows

Gave life and sweat for your wellbeing

Scream loud for your happiness

Ears will open hear us loud and clear

Flip my skin and you see me same as you

Scream loud I cannot breathe and you suffocate with me

You will hear my pain as I feel

The day of our future will be bright as black.

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Can we Call that as love ? A Poem

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Four letters we name it with passion

People try to have it all the time

Agony and misery trying to achieve

Can we call that as love?

Touch we feel the warmth of love

Smell we feel the fragrance of love

Closer we feel the need for love

Farther we feel the pain for love

Can we call that as love?

We know we need to survive with love

Yet, we don’t preserve while we have love

Take it for granted we lose for ever

Abruptly we find love in the universe

Can we call that as lover?

We lose again for many reasons we create

Nature shows humanity a lesson daily

We call ourselves the most civilized

Yet we behave like animals with no reason

Can we call that as love?

Compassion for others stays in our words

Day and night talk about love in vein

Yet we show only anger and resentment

Possessiveness takes over our clouded minds

Can we call that as love?

Clear the clouds with love for others

Create the society we want for our kids

Tomorrow a better day to dream with love

Stay with me for the better days to come

Can we call that as love?

Embrace the new beginning we strive

Love is the only answer to begin life.

The power of love we need to believe

Change the universe with the invisible power

Can we call that as love?

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i call her Rose- A Poem

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Like a soft petal in breeze

Flown in to abode of lotus feet

Walked out of shower with wet hair

My eyes caught on her smile and expression

Took my breath away in a second

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Oil lamps around the temple glows like heaven

Looking like a goddess she walked with naked feet

Held my hand pulled me closer to hers

First touch of her lift me above ground

Took my sense away in a second

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Green heaven with flowers aroused our senses

Asked whether she could see her mother

Her struggles shined through her eyes

Took my heart away in those stories

Breath sense and heart given to her

She became my breath of life in a second

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In the life full of darkness around me

As a sunshine she shines every day for me

I call her Rose, Love of my life.

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Hatred- A poem

Frustrations to save the love

Preaching to save the love

Everyone talk about love

Yet so much hatred among human race

Why we plant seeds in to new blood

Why we create words to twist new blood

Why we chose wisdom to freeze new blood

Yet so much hatred among human race

We say god came to save the love

We say god came to bear the pain of ours

We say god to relate love for us

Yet so much hatred among human race

Many color among us we see

Many faiths among us we experience

Many lessons among us we learn

All point towards love we yearn

Yet so much hatred among human race

Look around us to see the love

Nature itself shows love every day

With bright colors and sunlight

Never try to harm us, but spread love

Yet so much hatred among human race

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Salute to Female leaders

Mothers day is this month. I cannot find a better time to say thanks to the care and dedication these ladies put out to keep us safe. These female leaders today show the world that they care. They stood tall. If you look at the stats, we can clearly see how they helped the world and society. Why women did well during this pandemic times? How did they lead the team to success, better than male leaders? Only one answer I have is they have motherly instinct and love for fellow beings engraved in them. They don’t see economy or business in everything. They see the well-being for people, their children first. I don’t have a lot of research behind this post. If I opt out any leader by mistake here, I apologize.

Angela Markel- German Chancellor

Tsai Ing-Wen- Taiwan President

Jacinda Ardern- Newzealand Prime Minster

Katrin Jakobsdottir- Iceland Prime Minster

Sanna Marin- Finland President

Mette Frederiksen- Denmark Leader

Globally under these female leadership their countries did well in fighting this nasty virus. They were able to guide their citizens to march with them. Why do you think this was able to achieve? Mother’s love. They do have this passion and empathy. They seem to have endless love for their citizens well being. Also they do have great work ethic towards goal. Mothers don’t give up easily. They fight for the well being of their children. If they are leaders, they will do the same. We saw that during this pandemic times. Numbers don’t lie. Look at the above listed countries. They took action and stick to them under these female leadership. Their stats will show us, how they managed. One thing I saw difference with male counterparts. These women took it seriously and did the action quicker than any others. They did not write off the seriousness. They urged the citizens daily to stay in course. They never give hopes to people that we will open the economy. Instead they only gave the assurance of a mother “If we do this together and fight by staying home we can come out of this” None of the above leaders gave false hopes. Instead they daily came out and told us the after effects, if we don’t follow. Just like children we listened to these strong Female leaders. Taiwan now even started exporting essential goods to other countries. Why? They were most successful in this fight. They are not only doing good for their country. Now they are helping others by staying safe in their own.

On our home front here in Canada. Dr. Theresa Tam showed tremendous leadership. Canada did way better than our closest boarder. We have Dr. Bonnie Henry who lead us in British Columbia. Her speech every day was so humble. She showed so much empathy towards this crisis. We could sometimes even feel that she is going to cry. How can we not listen to her, when she is dedicating so much for our well-being day in an out. Dr. Deena Hinshaw from Alberta also show tremendous leadership efforts here in fighting corona virus.

I am not saying Male leaders are not good. There were a few leaders who did well here with this epidemic as well. Nerendra Modi, Indian Prime minister did great work with the country. The population is so big that strict measures needs to take place. He did take necessary action to stop the spread and it is working. Newyork Governor Andrew Cuomo did stand up against all odds that country is facing. He was so vocal against president.

I just want to say again. Thank you for doing what you all did. We need leaders like you. Hope we will see many more Female leaders in the future. We need their calmness, love, patience, empathy and passion to serve mankind.

time to change… A Poem

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Through the window panes everyday

I see the world in front of me smiling

What changed, I wonder everyday

Blue skies and white clouds still there

Trees and flowers still there swaying

Why this sadness I wonder everyday

World is as beautiful as it was then and now

There is change I feel inside everyday

How we think maybe the reason

Time to change fellows…

Time to change…

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We are divided in many ways these days

Color, Race, food all differs with us

Cut open we are same flesh and blood we know

Just like our world around us without changes

Same blue sky and white clouds

Yet, we differ and change happened unknowingly

Peace every one talk about achieving

Still it is a far away achievement for humanity

Harmony and Peace we crave every day

Time to change fellows…

Time to change….

Children’s book written by myself and my lovely boys.

I called her….

Life is a journey. We are all busy on our own ways, forgetting or neglecting to see others pains. We do this for personal gains. That is the saddest reality. I am writing here about an individual, I have known her for only less than 14 years. The most thought provoking personality I have ever known or will ever know. She was a warrior. Her life was so tough and she did not have a smooth path. All important occasions in her life had obstacles. Yet, She fought with her head high.

Came here as an immigrant more than four decades ago. Life was not easy back then. Working and taking care of family with minimum means was for sure a task. Failed marriage and not been able to take care of her youngest daughter must have broken anyone. She didn’t give up, the quality I got attracted towards her. Myself an immigrant we could connect so easily and she never treated me bad. We could talk all the rubbish in the world. We could connect with old movies and sometimes she did not have any interest in them, She listened and laughed at my silly jokes. I shared a lot from my childhood times. She enjoyed all the stories I had to say. I can see her eyes glow when I say my memories from India, She relates it back to me from Fiji. Our life style was similar and we did have a lot of common grounds. She always said “Here no life man. No life” She sighs always saying “Oh. Brother”. I felt that many times too. Here there is no life. We all live like robots here. Waste of life in a lot of ways. We both related easily because we both had experienced real essence of life back home in our own ways. Real struggles. That is why she survived here with all her hardships.

What broke my heart is when she told me “I went to a church where there was a wedding on the day my younger daughter got married”. So she felt she was a part of it. She coped and fought against her obstacles. She bought a baby doll, when her younger daughter had her baby. Took care of that baby doll as if she was taking care of her grand child. I salute this lady’s will power. I will never ever forget her. In my culture we call mother in law “auntie”. I never did. I called her… MOM. I realized she is a true form of a mom. A person with lot of patience.

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This is my fare well to her. I love you so much. When we see again. We will talk more about Hindi movies and your favorite actors as we usually do, when we were alone.Thank you for coming in to my life and most importantly you liked my cooking. Peace.

Superstitions

I grow up hearing and practicing a lot of superstitions. I have to say I believe in them. Reason is simple, it is engraved in our breath. We followed it religiously. Our parents and grandparents made sure we practiced them. Nowadays many years living outside country, I find these superstitions we believed back then lost its importance. I started to think why our generations from the past practiced them. There are many reasons as to why already out there. But I want to reason myself why this has started at least my interpretation. I could be wrong.

I have seen one of my neighbor who owns a shop always waited by his gate in the morning. He will not walk until unless he see a bike coming from his right side. He also makes sure it is not a milk bike. He believes that if bike passes by his right side when he walks towards his shop, that day he will get great sales. This happened every day until he passed away. This is actually a superstition. Even my grand parents practiced this. They will never walk out of their house if they see a milk selling bike coming. No one had good explanation as to why? I thought about it a lot. I have no convincing reason either. I have walked out when a milk bike came, nothing happened that day. I was just nervous a little, reason being, I was told many times it is not good. Readers, if you know any valid reason, please input your comments below.

If a crow sits on your front fence and cry, then people believed there will be visitors that day. I have seen people prepping extra food on that day as they are convinced there will be un announced visitors. To tell you the truth, I have myself experienced many times this comes true. Now living in a country there is hardly any fence, I really couldn’t try this out here. This one I do have some explanation. My reasoning to this is simple, Usually people says this during the month of wedding season. I have noticed this all the time, people do not say or anticipate visitors, when crow usually cries by sitting on their entrance fence, but they will comment only during wedding season. It is a common practice in India to invite all the relatives, if someone getting married. There are certain months good for getting married as well. People usually expect at least 3 to 4 weddings during that time. So crow crying and visitors coming does not really have any connection. But it did, during my childhood. Any other explanations please do comment and share.

Asking for a prostitute to come from the opposite direction of your path, if you are going for an important matter, such as a land deal or court case. I have seen this happening during my younger days as well. Not sure why they did. But it was a common belief that if they pass a prostitute everything will fall on their favor. This superstition, I have many problems with. Usually the very same people will not let prostitute to come and attend any functions in their house. They consider that as bad. But when they want to go somewhere, then the presence of them will become good. Does this make any sense. Till this day, I couldn’t come up with any reasoning. Readers, if you know why, please do comment and share your thoughts.

Dropping mustard seeds will bring in poverty to your home. I am not sure how many household have done that and nothing happened to them. I can understand, mustard seeds are very small and if this gets dropped. It is hard to collect them. If you do also, dust will be there as well. So my assumption is that, if in any case, mustard bottle fell down, It is almost impossible to get everything back and on top of that cleaning is difficult. So most of the household must have thrown them away. Most likely the older people decides to add some scare to it. And people became more cautious when they handled mustard seeds. At least this superstition of bringing poverty did it. Again this is my own assumption. I could be wrong.

If anyone bring food to your home in a container, then it is a must you return that container with some food in it. People say, if you give container back empty it is not good for family. Not sure why? We practiced this and saw my parents even doing this. Also some family even put a piece of chilly, when they returned the container, if they did not give food. This prevents bad eye falling on them. Again, this particular superstition, I find it hard to come up with any sort of reasoning.

Wake up in the morning to your right side, not on your left side. I still practice this. But I have never instilled this to my kids. I am not sure their days are bad, when they wake up in the morning and roll to their left side to get up. I got that habit because the society I was brought up had all these superstitions and they religiously follow them. I cannot think of a day, when I got up by rolling towards to my left side. You may wonder, why don’t I? No idea. Do I think, my day will be bad if i do? Yes, I do think that way!!! Well, it is hard for me to change.

Droplets- Memoir by Ajay Nair. Available thru Amazon, Barnes and Noble

Superstitions usually sticks with you because of the culture you are brought up in. Regardless how much you got educated and how much you tend to analyze how this all started. I will say, if you are born and you practiced during your childhood, that fear in you will stay. The day you did not practice and some thing bad happened to you, it is very easy to relate to the superstition.

I would love to hear from you readers, if you have a different take on this. Please do comment and share your thoughts. If you like my writing, please support my memoir DROPLETS.

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