Life is a journey. We are all busy on our own ways, forgetting or neglecting to see others pains. We do this for personal gains. That is the saddest reality. I am writing here about an individual, I have known her for only less than 14 years. The most thought provoking personality I have ever known or will ever know. She was a warrior. Her life was so tough and she did not have a smooth path. All important occasions in her life had obstacles. Yet, She fought with her head high.
Came here as an immigrant more than four decades ago. Life was not easy back then. Working and taking care of family with minimum means was for sure a task. Failed marriage and not been able to take care of her youngest daughter must have broken anyone. She didn’t give up, the quality I got attracted towards her. Myself an immigrant we could connect so easily and she never treated me bad. We could talk all the rubbish in the world. We could connect with old movies and sometimes she did not have any interest in them, She listened and laughed at my silly jokes. I shared a lot from my childhood times. She enjoyed all the stories I had to say. I can see her eyes glow when I say my memories from India, She relates it back to me from Fiji. Our life style was similar and we did have a lot of common grounds. She always said “Here no life man. No life” She sighs always saying “Oh. Brother”. I felt that many times too. Here there is no life. We all live like robots here. Waste of life in a lot of ways. We both related easily because we both had experienced real essence of life back home in our own ways. Real struggles. That is why she survived here with all her hardships.
What broke my heart is when she told me “I went to a church where there was a wedding on the day my younger daughter got married”. So she felt she was a part of it. She coped and fought against her obstacles. She bought a baby doll, when her younger daughter had her baby. Took care of that baby doll as if she was taking care of her grand child. I salute this lady’s will power. I will never ever forget her. In my culture we call mother in law “auntie”. I never did. I called her… MOM. I realized she is a true form of a mom. A person with lot of patience.
This is my fare well to her. I love you so much. When we see again. We will talk more about Hindi movies and your favorite actors as we usually do, when we were alone.Thank you for coming in to my life and most importantly you liked my cooking. Peace.
I grow up hearing and practicing a lot of superstitions. I have to say I believe in them. Reason is simple, it is engraved in our breath. We followed it religiously. Our parents and grandparents made sure we practiced them. Nowadays many years living outside country, I find these superstitions we believed back then lost its importance. I started to think why our generations from the past practiced them. There are many reasons as to why already out there. But I want to reason myself why this has started at least my interpretation. I could be wrong.
I have seen one of my neighbor who owns a shop always waited by his gate in the morning. He will not walk until unless he see a bike coming from his right side. He also makes sure it is not a milk bike. He believes that if bike passes by his right side when he walks towards his shop, that day he will get great sales. This happened every day until he passed away. This is actually a superstition. Even my grand parents practiced this. They will never walk out of their house if they see a milk selling bike coming. No one had good explanation as to why? I thought about it a lot. I have no convincing reason either. I have walked out when a milk bike came, nothing happened that day. I was just nervous a little, reason being, I was told many times it is not good. Readers, if you know any valid reason, please input your comments below.
If a crow sits on your front fence and cry, then people believed there will be visitors that day. I have seen people prepping extra food on that day as they are convinced there will be un announced visitors. To tell you the truth, I have myself experienced many times this comes true. Now living in a country there is hardly any fence, I really couldn’t try this out here. This one I do have some explanation. My reasoning to this is simple, Usually people says this during the month of wedding season. I have noticed this all the time, people do not say or anticipate visitors, when crow usually cries by sitting on their entrance fence, but they will comment only during wedding season. It is a common practice in India to invite all the relatives, if someone getting married. There are certain months good for getting married as well. People usually expect at least 3 to 4 weddings during that time. So crow crying and visitors coming does not really have any connection. But it did, during my childhood. Any other explanations please do comment and share.
Asking for a prostitute to come from the opposite direction of your path, if you are going for an important matter, such as a land deal or court case. I have seen this happening during my younger days as well. Not sure why they did. But it was a common belief that if they pass a prostitute everything will fall on their favor. This superstition, I have many problems with. Usually the very same people will not let prostitute to come and attend any functions in their house. They consider that as bad. But when they want to go somewhere, then the presence of them will become good. Does this make any sense. Till this day, I couldn’t come up with any reasoning. Readers, if you know why, please do comment and share your thoughts.
Dropping mustard seeds will bring in poverty to your home. I am not sure how many household have done that and nothing happened to them. I can understand, mustard seeds are very small and if this gets dropped. It is hard to collect them. If you do also, dust will be there as well. So my assumption is that, if in any case, mustard bottle fell down, It is almost impossible to get everything back and on top of that cleaning is difficult. So most of the household must have thrown them away. Most likely the older people decides to add some scare to it. And people became more cautious when they handled mustard seeds. At least this superstition of bringing poverty did it. Again this is my own assumption. I could be wrong.
If anyone bring food to your home in a container, then it is a must you return that container with some food in it. People say, if you give container back empty it is not good for family. Not sure why? We practiced this and saw my parents even doing this. Also some family even put a piece of chilly, when they returned the container, if they did not give food. This prevents bad eye falling on them. Again, this particular superstition, I find it hard to come up with any sort of reasoning.
Wake up in the morning to your right side, not on your left side. I still practice this. But I have never instilled this to my kids. I am not sure their days are bad, when they wake up in the morning and roll to their left side to get up. I got that habit because the society I was brought up had all these superstitions and they religiously follow them. I cannot think of a day, when I got up by rolling towards to my left side. You may wonder, why don’t I? No idea. Do I think, my day will be bad if i do? Yes, I do think that way!!! Well, it is hard for me to change.
Superstitions usually sticks with you because of the culture you are brought up in. Regardless how much you got educated and how much you tend to analyze how this all started. I will say, if you are born and you practiced during your childhood, that fear in you will stay. The day you did not practice and some thing bad happened to you, it is very easy to relate to the superstition.
I would love to hear from you readers, if you have a different take on this. Please do comment and share your thoughts. If you like my writing, please support my memoir DROPLETS.
I could be one of the stats from India. Daily one student suicide because of the pressure they go through. Can you believe it?
It is true. I have been in this situation. Hey, I can say this much. I never thought of taking my life. I did want to run away from home. Many times. Today after many years, when I look back. I think I had some one looking up for me. Some people call it as God or some supreme power. I still don’t know what it is. I am lucky…
Why? This much pressure. Society is so blind in India. Never changed, this many years and still the same. I thought, situations have changed. But NO guys. I am furious. Recently I read in the news paper, that parents paid some person to arrange strangers to write their kids entrance test to get admissions to Medical courses. Now what happened, they got caught. Now kids got debarred from colleges. The parents are in Jail. Again- Why? What did they got out of this? Kids lost their education. They lost their parents. Now for their entire life, they will be horrible.
I am sick and tired of this. Prime Minister Narendra Modi Ji is doing a lot for the country. But it is high time for him to take a look at this situation. Students are our future. He should reform education system. He should find ways to educate society, that other careers are needed for a well balanced community.
Why, they are forcing kids to do only certain courses? Why the parents are forcing the kids to do the courses they don’t like? Also, why this much pressure put on kids when they are at colleges? Why they have to perform so much? Why they cannot just be kids?
All these talent, these parents create by forcing kids to develop. Kids do it just to make their parents happy. Then they leave country. So what does this society of India really get out of this? I am confused here. Every time I think about it. I am sick on my stomach.
We are ruining our future. Our kids will never live in peace and they lose their childhood. My generation, most of my friends went through this pressure. I thought when we grow up, atleast our kids will not go through this kind of pressure. I thought we will let our kids be kids. Trust me, I am doing my best to give my kids the best childhood they can get. I am living with them. I am getting my childhood back with them. I am re living my dreams, what I used to dream about when I was a kid.
Shame on you all guys, I am calling out all my friends back home. I know many of my friends still running after education institutions paying big donations, securing a seat for their kids, SO the kids get tortured in the system. India has not changed. STOP IT.
Still kids suicide every day because of the pressure we put on them to perform. We don’t give them choice and make them believe, if they don’t become doctors or engineers, they will not make it in their lives. Shame on me as well, I am not able to change the society I came from. I am doing what I can by writing this. Please stop. Let kids live, Let them chose their paths. Let them achieve their dreams. Let them pave their own fate. Guide them. But don’t force them to give you happiness.
I wrote my book, DROPLETS thinking one day the words in my book will open some people eyes. Who knows? My parents realized now, what I am saying. They are not forcing their grand kids. They love them who they are. So, guys, you all can change. We will save kids.
Please visit NetGalley and request copies for reviewing.
Featured Reviews Cristie U, Reviewer This memoir captured the emotions that author felt when moving to a new country perfectly. He had to contend with strict parents, little money, and other issues and captured those moments brilliantly in this fish out of water memoir. The honest writing makes it easy to empathize with him.
I am excited at the same time speechless to get a 5 star review from Cristie.
I want to invite you to join DROPLETS book launch task force! A book’s success depends a lot on word of mouth and grassroots marketing, so the purpose of this force is simple. LET’s be real here. I am not a well known writer or famous. I am asking everyone to help me get the word out about the book before – and immediately after – the August 8 launch. There are four key areas where I think you all could take action which will really help me to launch my 2 years of labor. Scroll down to check out ideas and actions you can take to get involved and help me. You can do as much as you want, but even one action will make a big difference. Highly appreciated.
If you’re interested in joining the task force, please follow my blog and connect to me with your full name and address so I can provide you with a complimentary e book. Please do that via contact page on this blog site.
Network – Do you know any radio or podcast hosts that might be interested in interviewing me about DROPLETS? Please connect them to me or suggest my book for discussion. – Do you belong to a club or organization that would be interested in a guest speaker? I’d love to speak to them if they are close to Vancouver. OR I could do video call with them.
-If you see my book in any stores after August 8 please share that picture to me or post it in Instagram, tag authorajaynair when you do that.
-Do you know any local magazines, where they are looking for new book feature. Please suggest me. I can send them my book release information.
Word of Mouth – Suggest DROPLETS to your libraries and independent bookstores near you (click here to find outlets near you) – Pitch DROPLETS at your next book club meeting – Suggest the book to your friends and acquaintances.
Social media ( Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn,Facebook, Reddit and Youtube) – Link to your reviews on Amazon, GoodReads, etc. – Post about the book and your impressions – Comment, share, and repost updates about DROPLETS on your social media accounts. – Use #DROPLETS, #authorajaynair #memoirs in your posts
Book Reviews (Note: the earliest a review can be posted on any site is August 8) – PLEASE KEEP THAT DATE IN MIND. – Rate and review Droplets on Amazon, GoodReads, Barnes and Noble, Booksamillion and other platforms – Write reviews on August 8 – 22 (if you review in early August, be sure to mention you received an advanced copy so they know you’re legit!) Thank you! I appreciate you all so much. Ajay Nair.
I am compelled to write this today. I am positive that this will inspire many others who are on the way to write a book. Or, even starting their own blog. Whatever they are trying to do. One thing I learned with this process is. Never stop because of others. You stop only if you want to. Always believe in what you want to do. Keep on writing.
Droplets went through many changes. I traveled with it. I have to say, like many travels this one was not easy either. I went through many rejections. I got fooled by the people out there who wants to make a buck out of my hard labor. I got bad reviews. One even said, “the worst book ever read”
These quotes, remarks can easily bring anyone down. But friends, you are not writing for one person. You are writing for the ones, who will appreciate your hard work. Find them. It is not easy. Took me two years in the making. I self publish this book under the name “Come-Travel With Me” with a subtitle “Ten Droplets”.
Once a famous actor from south India told in an interview ” If you polish a brass piece every day, that piece will shine like a star”. He said this about his acting. He is a well know proven actor for a long time. He is none other than Mammooty. Well, this can apply in every ones life. If you have a product and you believe in it. Keep improving it. Keep trying with many people. One day it will come out and some one will see its worth.
I will show you the revisions at least on the cover page. So you will see how much it evolved. What is the final product. Today I can proudly say, Droplets is a fine book for anyone to read. It is polished. It is edited by professionals. I am very happy. I am sure some of you will like this as well. Please read my book and give some reviews anywhere in the social media you use. For authors like us, word of mouth is the oxygen. Thanks for reading my blog. See below the transformation of my book.
This is my own design which I used when I self published the book.
Below is the publisher’s first draft. I felt it was too close to my design. Went back to design table.
Below is the third. It was missing something according to my gut instinct. Friends, you don’t compromise until you are fully satisfied. So I asked them to go back to design table again.
I went with this one below. It is set to release on August 8 2019. I am content. Happy. I am also saying this because this feeling, I am sure many have felt. But only those who stick to it and push harder will get the results. So Friends, See below my book DROPLETS
Today, I am proud to announce my book DROPLETS for pre order. This journey of mine was tough. Many rejections on the way. Many people told me that my writing is not at all good. Many people told me that I am not conveying message correctly. I have to say, today, It is happening. Thank you for every one who supported me on this journey. Please share the link I am sharing here. Those who order now will receive 15 % discount now before August 8 2019
Today I happened to listen to a motivational speaker. Listening to him, I felt like sharing his words here. Not exactly his words, but the message is same. I got different angle of looking at life today after I listened. It is eye opening. He asked the following questions one by one.
You are born because of?
Your name is given by?
Your resources such as meat, vegetables etc by?
The love and affection you receive are from?
The money you earn while working are given by?
The respect you earn are given by?
When you die the last rites are given by?
The wealth you earn when you are alive is given or taken by?
So, Why don’t we all close our eyes and think a minute is it that we are the ones who do every thing. No your existence itself is because of others. Once you start thinking that you don’t do any thing alone, the people around do for you, then you slowly will develop compassion for others. People who always says “I worked hard, I did this for you, I stepped up to achieve this” should realize that it is not I, it is we.
Knowledge is to share. I gained this knowledge yesterday and I felt I should share this to whoever is reading my blog. I believe in positive things. Last few years, I have changed and only positve I see. I donot have time for negativity in my life. Share this message, Repost this message if you like.
If you like my writing, Please do support my book,
October 10- Mental health day. I wanted to write this on that day, however time constraints did not let me do that.
Radio show I usually listen to stated that 500,000 Canadians miss work due to mental health problems. That is a quite large number. The problem I see is that most of them don’t want to talk about it. I have taken first aid on mental health. The knowledge I got from that course I use daily at my life. I encourage every one to take this course in their life time atleast once.
I do have a mixture of employees work for me. Every one comes from different ethnic background. They all adapt to same working conditions differently. As a manager I realize that and i have over the years adapted to their understandings. I now can sense when they come to work with mixed feelings.
One important tool, I gain by doing the course is talk to these people. I can listen to them now, I do understand the difficulty. I understand it is not a disease. One excercise we did was to bring out two people from the class. Rest of them stayed where they were. Instructor asked the two people come back in to the class room and start yelling at the students ear. The students were asked to talk to each other about a family problem. At the same time the person yelling in to their ears saying “Don’t listen to them, They are bad, They are going to kill you”
We realized that is how people live daily. If you don’t live in their shoes, you will not understand. I want to help them. I leave my office open at all times. At any time my employee wants to talk about family issues or any other personal issues, they are welcome to come and take it out. It does help.
Prior to this course, I had hard time listening. I usually give solutions and try to get on with other things. Then I realize the solutions I give may not work for them. Or they already tried that. If I don’t listen fully, how can i give them suggestions?
I also took Leaders as coaches course, where you get exposed to become a coach. I have effectively listened and help three staff. I am sure they are thankful to me. I also understand as a manager, this kind of help will motivate them.
First aid course have given me insight to mental health. Also given me the tools to analyze a person when they show up for work.
Please do realize that we can help and we need to tame our mind to do that. Thanks for reading. Prayers to all those suffer and hope they all get help from some one who cares.