We got in to this habit when we pass by our colleagues and friends. Simple words with no meaning, really. People became so robotic these days to answer. I am good. Thanks. Really? Are we good?
Pause for a second here…
I have been pondering this for a while now. At first when I came to Canada, I saw people were so courteous saying “Good Morning and How are you?” I felt fantastic. That we cared. Over the years living here, I see this as just a custom. I see people asking this and the answer comes very robotic. No connection what so ever. “I am well, thanks. OR I am fine. OR Good”
How are you? Really!!
This is something we should ask ourselves daily. This needs to happen. Many people around us are under mental agony. Still, when we say, How are you? (Reason I used the word “say”. I do not think we are asking people anymore. We are just saying for the sake of it). Many times people ask this and walk away before even the person responds to you. We assume they are going to say they are ok. Why we do it, because this has become so robotic to us. I have seen it and I am guilty of myself doing that to others. Everyone of us is busy. But why?
Reset ourselves. It is very important. Mental health professionals are recommending nowadays to ask ourselves daily How are we doing. Think about it. Are we doing well? Why are we running like a headless chicken every day? Why are we not happy? If we give ten minutes of our time to self reflect, we can re channel our focus.
I am going to focus on this thought from now on. I also will pause and mean it every time I ask someone, “How are you?” With this pandemic situation, we are more isolated than ever. The human touch is missing. All we can do is show the care for others. This may make someone’s day. They may want someone to talk to. Stop by your colleague’s office. Have a chit chat following the social distance protocol. Now with reduction of workforce, there are many who you have worked with are sitting at home. Call them up for a few minutes. Talk to them. Ask them “How are they?”. This may give them some fuel to survive for a week. All I am saying here is “Don’t be selfish. Care about others.”
I am asking all the people who are reading this “How are you? Really!!!” Comment below. I am looking forward to have a conversation with you guys. Share this blog to your friends if you want to ask them, “How are they? Really!!!”
I am also leaving you this video from youtube. It is apt and align with above thoughts. If you really think about it.
The heading is not mine. I took that out from Sushant Singh Rajput’s words. The myth we as youngsters believed. I also fell for it for a long period of time during my college days. Our society we grow up in India for many reasons believe this. I don’t blame them. Those who grow up in poverty, they only see the glamour of rich people. For them the life they see outside is always happiness. How they attain is what they don’t have- Money.
Parents who suffered during their childhood always thought, money is earned by becoming a doctor or an engineer. For them it is the truth. Those who were doing other jobs are not meeting their basic needs. Plumbers, electricians, Rickshaw drivers all struggled to provide food for their family daily. Can we really blame them? No. But what we can do now is to change the society to think differently. Past what our parents went through, for them it is right. They did what they did. Now it is our turn to change and adapt to save our kids.
The new generation like us, we need to be the force of change. Yet, I see people like Sushant struggled. We need to learn from his struggles and be the part to educate our society to think differently. When we run around to push our kids to see only through our eyes, we are making mistakes. We should let them see the world from their eyes. Give them the freedom of thinking. Let them do what they are best at. Don’t push them to do what they don’t believe in. Let them fail, so they will stand up and walk forward. Let them make mistakes, so they can correct themselves. Don’t falter them when they don’t excel in something, Guide them.
The kids who are forced to groom by others dreams always crumble when life takes a turn. They never acted themselves. They always moved according to an authoritative figures instructions. Could be a parent, or a teacher. They live in this bubble of insecurities. Once it is gone, they take shelter in suicide. Sad, but truth.
Only solution I see here is to deviate our traditional thoughts on success. No job out there has more status than any others. All job is needed for the society and respect the person. Do not give more respect to a doctor or engineer compared to a cleaner. They all are needed for the well being of human race. Money should be never a factor for happiness. Pay the people who did the job. Do not DE-value the work they did. Doctors don’t need extra pay other than their salary. Stop giving them extra fees and make that gap of poverty even more higher. Stop paying bribes to certain officers. Think differently. You be the movement. Save our future.
Sushant Singh Rajput- You be the movement. RIP brother.
Every body in the world now say a word constantly – Social Distancing. For a lot of people, it is very difficult. But if you think about it, in this day and age most of us are already distant. We may be friends on line. We may talk over messenger. But we are so busy with our careers and our own world. We did not pay attention to it. We felt that we are socializing a lot when we are at work. We neglect our own family members and our priorities are bigger and better. We never had time for any thing. We are constantly busy.
Now, many countries are lock down and we are on self isolation ourselves etc. Time to think guys, Are we doing right here before this social distancing became reality check here? Now lot of us are still putting the work out there from home, still on track with our responsibilities at work. But we started to see people around you, Family. Those who matter most.
I see social postings now with family more than with friends. I see father cooking food for their family and posting those pictures. I see many playing card games with their family and posting them. This should be the case everyday my friends. We should be doing this every day. Not because of this social distancing and quarantine we have time. We always had time, But we neglected them. We will browse hours and hours on social media, Yet, we will push away our kids saying, “We are busy”
Guys, take this as a positive turn for everyone. We now have time. We spend time with our family more now, Yet again our career and priorities stays the same. This difficult times we pass through now, may be some supreme power above us is showing to us, how to live. Pay attention to our loved ones. Everything else can wait and realize that everything will wait for us. That is the truth. There is no rush to conquer or capture here. LOVE that is the what we need.
I heard lot of us are re adjusting ourselves how to behave around family. This unexpected stay at home situation is a test for them. Everyone out there says, we work for our family. But they don’t spent quality time with them. Why? This is sad. They toil themselves, and at the end of the day, their own children don’t know their parents well enough. I have worked in long term care facilities. I have see many parents there crying. They all have one thing to say “My kids don’t come and visit me”. This is true and sad fact. I have asked them, “What they did for living?” Most of them will say a lot about their career and how hard they worked. Reality check here everyone “How much time they spend with their kids?” They did not and that is where we are doing mistakes. The bond and the attachment is not there.
After this self isolation and social distancing is over, practice and spend time with your family. This won’t hurt. My prayers are always there for the COVID 19 patients and healthcare workers. We will come out of this soon. Stay safe every one. Love your family. We can create a loving society and I think we should.